Prom!

How cute is my brother at his prom? Pretty cute.
Our intern just told us that at her prom some chick spent $300 on fucking dreadlocks for her prom...Nasty!

Whoa.

Try not to swallow any pool water...

New(ish) Mickey Avalon...

Eh, it's okay...It's like, enough with just trying to shock everyone and do something really good. His sophmore album is his last chance. If he doesnt work it this time...Avalon's over.


Mickey Avalon - "F***IN' EM ALL" from Nicholaus Goossen on Vimeo.

Coachella for Goths!

I found this on youtube (obviously). This shit is the Coachella of the Goth World! First of all, pizza is not very Goth and neither is camping but whatever...

Quote of the Day!

"...Famous Trash? Wait, what'd you say?"

Our new intern, Joe, asking me to repeat what I had just said to him. I said "Dirty Celeb"; I was discussing TheDirty.com

Quote of the Day!

"I like getting fucked, I don't like getting raped..."

My boss, in regards to a meeting I think...

IM of the Day!

ME (12:02:42 PM): what'd she say?????

X(12:02:52 PM): congratulating me on handling this

X (12:03:06 PM): told me that she pestered her for antibiotics for asshole

ME (12:03:43 PM): for her asshole?

X (12:04:43 PM): for the asshole not hers

ME (12:04:57 PM): ohhhhhhh

This Bitch Makes Me Crazy!

Yes, I have posted about her before!! She is so fucking annoying!!

The Caption to this photo is probably,

"My and my girls...on our way to the Strokes concert!! Lovesit!"

Bitch, you ain't shit.

(the one in the middle) Courtney?

Barf

Fuck YOU, Billy Corgan!!

I shall mark this day on my calendar...and remember, aye, even on my death bed, that THIS day, Tuesday April 7th, 2009, is the day that my love for Billy Corgan died...
Taking up with that Pug faced trollop??? (No offense to Pugs) I don't give a FUCK if its just for a photo op. God knows what incurable disease he's got now.

Hell!

Nerd Stuff...

Oy...all his "Hot" just went out the window...

Interesting...

Andre Saraiva.
He is married to Uffie...interesting. I had no idea that bitch was married.
via The Selby

It Was So Awsome When...

After driving for 2hrs in the car with my dog, he waited until we pulled onto my street, got the major dry heaves and then blew chunks in the rental car on the CLOTH seat! (I guess, however, that its better that he barfed on a rental car instead of of my very own). It was like he was practicing a reenactment of that Lionsgate film where that smoky looking meat chunk comes out of that little boys mouth in that scary movie add...He did a REALLY good impression...
So then, once I got that cleaned up, we came inside and I was putting down all the grocery bags and laundry bags and I smell this smell like....I cant even explain it. So I turn around and Mazzy has sprayed diarrhea all over the floor...its the consistency of gravy. Ummmmmmmm. So guess who got to clean it up! But first I had to take a wet wipe to his ass to make sure if he jumped on the couch, he wouldn't leave ass skids all over it. It was so hot!

It Would Really Suck...

...if you were in a band and your goddamn wife came and stood in the front row swaying and singing your songs. I mean, FUCK! If it was a hot, random chick doing that, it would be RAD, but your wife? UGH. Get to the back of the crowd.

I saw this happen once and all I could think was how bad I felt for the lead singer.

Quote of the Day!

"No one gets in the way of me and my SPRAY TAN!"-

My boss- said in all sincerity, while trying to make it to her tannnig appt in Beverly Hills from LAX during rush hour, driving like a madman, talking on the phone and emailing. I was in the passenger seat so now I have grey hair...

Shit I Can't WAIT For!!

I cannot fucking wait for "Daisy Of Love" premiering on April 26th on VH1!!! It's going to be the ultimate shit show. I just took a look at the cast...eh...they are okayyyyyy...

Here are my thoughts on some of the duds:

12-Pack

Dude, haven't we seen you before? Like a THOUSAND times? I think this leftover douche water needs to move on from reality. BOOOOOORINGGGGGG!
FOX

Jesus! Too many TEETH!

WEASEL

Um, is this really a contestant? He looks like a crew grip. Maybe he was the only grip available for a photo stand in. This is a mistake. SINISTER

"Let's share our love and STDs"

GROSS

BROOKLYN

This asshole obviously couldn't get a REAL acting job so he took this shit, hoping for his big break.

Can I Just Say Something?

My boyfriend has been throwing a Goddamn, Mutherfucking hissy fit about me taking my dog in the car because he sheds a little...Okay OKAY I fucking GOT IT!

Then this asshole goes and leaves the car OPEN in our garage and it gets mutherfucking ROBBED! Oh, I just lost my $400 digital cameral, but yes IM SO SORRY about the DOG HAIR which can be VACUUMED!

I'm just SAYING!!

Thanks, I had to vent. And no, I DONT care if he sees this!

Hahahahahah!

This Is Why I Know God Is Watching Out For Me...

I was randomly reading this article in STAR Magazine today via the web...it was even an old ass article...but I was bored so whatever. It was about how all these Hollywood Starlets are having this wild, debaucherous, after hours DRUG PARTIES. The shit sounded exciting to me!!! I was like "how can I get invited to this party?", "Why can't any of my friends be famous whores who party it up?". I don't want to worry my mother, who occasionally reads this blog, but don't wild parties just sound like fun? Dude, my mom would totally come with me and pass around a cough syrup bottle with Lil' Wayne if he was at this party so I've got her number.

Anyways, my point is that I am not one of these socialista types...I don't ever really want to go out, I don't really want to set drinks with assistants and execs at other companies...I just want to go home and smell my dog's paws...no, for reals. I'm insane...but I get this from my mother. One day she told me that her pug Paris' paws smelled like corn chips. I sniffed his paws and they did! So when I got my own dog I tried it. Yep, corn chips. So anyways, I just like to watch TV with my dog and occasionally smell his paws.

Now, if God had created me to be this Party Slut I would probably have made my way up into the Hollywood Hills for these Drug parties and be a strung out whore. Instead I am at home, on my couch, watching such quality programs like "The Bad Girls Club" with my shades drawn in case one of my neighbors sees me sniffing paws and thinks I'm like, molesting my dog or something.

By the way...How hot are those stock photo images???

Oh...Robert...

Hey, you're still hot to me...Just lose the purple hair light at your next concert. I love you anyways!

"Dancin' Grannies!"

When I was in 7th grade I had to go to this janky ass Christian School. It was seriously in a Church basement! Thanks Mom and Dad!

Anyways, the principal was this fucked up fucker named Mr. Kay. He was a pervert. His daughter was in my class. I think her name was like Lindsay or something. ANYways...she told us that her Grandma was in this video workout series called "Dancin' Grannies". Practically FAMOUS! Here's a clip of what those old sluts do well.

I'm In LOVE!

Kingsford is the Cuteness!

Kingsford Goes to the Beach - video powered by Metacafe

I NEED All of These Dogs to Make My Life Complete!

I'll Take A Pair Of These!

I never really thought much about getting a boob job but if they can be made to look like this, I'll take 'em!

Nicely done!

Aubrey O'Day in Playboy

Well, Helloooooooo, Jesus!

Good God! He makes me feel funny...in my china!!!!

Song of the Day!

Omg. When I was little I fucking LOVED this song...I thought someone had a bad case of "Breast-less-ness" and thought it might be some freaky sex thing...but still...I loved the Hell out of this song. I had never watched the video until today. That ballerina is so...wispy!

"HANDS TO HEAVEN"

BREATHE

Just Because...

Quote of the Day!

"Why might I want to go out with other dudes??? Mmmmmmm...because he's a DICK?!

One of my friends, complaining about her relationship.

Such true words!

MySpace "Model" of the Day!

This is a category that I used to have on my other blog...but it started taking me too long to find the PERFECT subject each day to "study". I've realized just how much joy that search gave me when I started longing for the days of working for my old boss where I had hours each day to devote to my search. I don't have that much freedom anymore, but I promise to bring you the best of the sluts that MySpace has to offer, here on my new blog!

The first title's honor goes to "SNOW ANGEL"!

(aka, "Lurch").

Album Title: "For Mature Eyes Only!"

"They did the Mash!..."

Those Barbizon Classes DID NOT Go To Waste!

Such a Striking Resemblance!

If you'd like to witness more of this hot piece visit her myspace!

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewProfile&friendID=51301156

Como Se Dice...retardo?

This is not a joke. This is really, truly how retarded I am...

I was making a list of office supplies I need. I'm thinking and thinking REALLY hard about what I should get and trying to remember what was on my LAST list that got lost...

Somewhere along the way, Rubber Bands became...Rubber Pants??????

aAhahahahahahahahahaha!

For a minute I SERIOUSLY thought someone was playing a, fairly, funny joke on me. Nope. That's just me and my specialness. Right on!
Megan: See! I was totally thinking about your damn white binders!!

Shower To Shower!

Um, so I just went pee (it sounded weird to say "used the restroom" or "was in the restroom") and when I closed the stall door behind me I saw all this white, powdery shit all in front of the toilet.

The first thought that flashed was that one of the hot lawyer women in this building has a coke problem and is so rich that she doesn't give a shit when she drops a G on the bathroom floor. But then i realized that it was prolly from some lady with "the stink" trying to powder her cooter. Sick!

Let's do some "chemistry". If you have a wet, stinky china that you feel you need to "freshen up" with some powder...don't you think that the powder will just make a paste? SICK! Now, you've got china paste all in your panties. Omg. I just made myself ill.

Song of the Day!

Lily Allen
THE FEAR

Burke Williams? Can I please have a word with you?

Yeah. Hi, Burke Williams Spa? Hi. My name is Robyn. I got a really nice gift certificate to your salon for Christmas. I had heard so much about you that I was very excited to set up my appointments and redeem my gift cert. So I went in there on Saturday night. Um. Okay, first of all, if I'M the idiot who didn't know that Sat nights are known for being LESBIAN night, then I kind of forgive you for me being caught up in that shit. It was super uncomfortable for me. Mostly I hid out in the dry sauna room since it seems to me that the LESBIANS hung out in the Eucalyptus Steam Room because you cant see SHIT!!!! It was dark and "mysterious" in that room. NOT interested. Nope. Not for me, thanks.
Anyways. Some of my main concerns were as follows:
Why do your towels and robes feel as though they were made out of newly bought sand paper? and not even FINE sand paper. The ROUGH, larger grade shit! I mean, you put your own name on the towels! Why? I would be ashamed to have my name on that shit. It practically hurt to put my robe on! Jesus!
Okay, I know I am a bit of a freak but I couldn't even enjoy the hot tubs. Once I saw the older LESBIANS with the huge hairy bushes (BW is "European style" and therefore, clothing is optional) get in, I was OVER it. I won't go in a hot tub anywhere or under any circumstances, but I just felt the big ass hairy bushes added to my disappointment in you. I don't need to see grey (or other) pubes just floatin' around in the tub. Eeeeeeesh!!!!
The final straw was when I saw this black chick just walking around with her fucking WEAVE in her hands!!!!!!! Well, I guess it's not a "weave" if it's a straight up WIG! Still, it was sooooo weird to see this bitch just walking around like it was nothing that she had a wig on!
I hate to sound ungrateful for my Christmas gift. I'm totally not! I was looking forward to my time at BW. But their standards are just too lax! No more, BW. No more! That shit was SICK!
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA! UPDATE TO THIS POST:
A friend of mine read this shit and then told me that at the BW I went to, if you wear your locker key on your wrist (or was it ankle?) it means you want a "happy ending" and I guess they will give it to you! I was like "That's just for dudes, right? Cause it could take a chick like a half an hour!" and she said its for BOTH! Holy shit. I'm glad I put that damn key in my Sand Paper Robe!!! Eeeeesh! I nearly escaped being raped by a broom at this place. For reals.

Britney, I fucking Love you.

I've been hearing all this hoopla about Britney's song, "If You Seek Amy" which, at this point, we all know translates to "F.U.C.K. Me". I'm going to step outside my usually conservative "oh Britney, you are an example to the CHILDRENS of this world" and say, "Ha. Ha!". The shit is funny and very very subversive and that's exactly what I like about it. It shows she's got a sense of humor. Parents need to chill. Their kids wouldn't even know what it meant if they didn't go making a big stink about it.

Go, Britney. You dirty bitch!

The Principal's Office on TruTV

What the Hell is this??? How did I not know about this show? I LOOOOVVVE it! (not as much as "Momma's Boys" which I am currently watching, like the loser I am).

The "Excuse Promo" is so hot!!! AAhahahahaha!!

"I can't get my education without sweatpants on."

Cool Shit!

FRED FLARE GOLD RETAINER NECKLACE

$300.00
http://www.fredflare.com/customer/product.php?productid=4142&cat=343#

So Fucking Rude!

So I'm kinda late on posting this but Mercury has been in retrograde this week (right, Ej? Is that how you say the shit?) and so my life has been a psycho mess.
I saw this clip of Megan Fox and was appalled. What the fuck? Its the most insecure, fishing for a compliment, rude ass shit I have ever heard! Okay, it is pretty much agreed that Megan Fox is one hot bitch. Like, beautiful coloring, skin, eyes, body, hair and gorgeous face. So when she compares herself to Alan Alda and says she is man-ish, what the fuck does that say about anyone who is not nearly as attractive as her (this would be 95% of the female population)? Its fucking rude as shit! How dare she! Honestly. If I was this bitch's publicist I would have ripped her a new asshole. Then when she talks about her lame ass, has been boyfriend it just makes me sad for her. What a fucking dick. She needs to get some confidence, then some manners and dump her loser boyfriend. She is still not excused for being so rude though.

Just Stupid

This is just embarrassing. Lady Gaga does not look hip or modern or anything other than stupid. It seriously just looks like she forgot to wear pants. Who the fuck is her stylist? And, not to be cruel, but if you don't have the legs to pull this shit off, then just leave it alone. A crazy spiked nude heel would have made it at least look intentional. This? This is an Epic Fashion Fail.

Blogina Hero #1!

I am giving the first spot to one of the Hottest Bitches of 2008; Scarlett!

Blogina Resolutions!

I'm not a huge fan of New Years Resolutions...I feel set up for failure. And yes, I know that with that attitude I'm not going to get anywhere. But, shit, I'm going to try my best!
So here are my resolutions:
1) Practice "Portion Control", you fucking Fat Ass!
2) Move. Even just a little.
3) Change the 'tude! Let's get a little more positivity going. (Is that a real word?)
4) Become a little more of a cunt. (My boss is always saying "I'm going to turn you into an animal, if it's the LAST thing I do!!" I could at least help her with this transformation by learning to say "No", you know?)
5) Bring back a little bit of that "Anti Establishment" girl I was in high school. She was kinda cool.
6) Make more time for the stuff i love like CRAFTS!
7) Money Money Money. Save it, save it, save it. And pay my damn bills on time.