I was randomly reading this article in STAR Magazine today via the web...it was even an old ass article...but I was bored so whatever. It was about how all these Hollywood Starlets are having this wild, debaucherous, after hours DRUG PARTIES. The shit sounded exciting to me!!! I was like "how can I get invited to this party?", "Why can't any of my friends be famous whores who party it up?". I don't want to worry my mother, who occasionally reads this blog, but don't wild parties just sound like fun? Dude, my mom would totally come with me and pass around a cough syrup bottle with Lil' Wayne if he was at this party so I've got her number.
Anyways, my point is that I am not one of these socialista types...I don't ever really want to go out, I don't really want to set drinks with assistants and execs at other companies...I just want to go home and smell my dog's paws...no, for reals. I'm insane...but I get this from my mother. One day she told me that her pug Paris' paws smelled like corn chips. I sniffed his paws and they did! So when I got my own dog I tried it. Yep, corn chips. So anyways, I just like to watch TV with my dog and occasionally smell his paws.
Now, if God had created me to be this Party Slut I would probably have made my way up into the Hollywood Hills for these Drug parties and be a strung out whore. Instead I am at home, on my couch, watching such quality programs like "The Bad Girls Club" with my shades drawn in case one of my neighbors sees me sniffing paws and thinks I'm like, molesting my dog or something.
By the way...How hot are those stock photo images???
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